The Art Of Obnoxiousness...

... Is something many people take for granted, but aren't actually good at.
Being obnoxious IS an art, for it takes the right kind of personality to pull it off.

For example, the following (hypothetical) conversation is between Person A & a normal person:

Person A- "Do these pants make my ass look fat?!"
Normal Person- "NO! Of course not! You look GORGEOUS, as usual! Lets go grab a pizza, you red hot hottie!"
Person A- "Oh yay! NOW maybe i can get some action, ifyouknowwhatimsaying. *wink*
Normal Person- "Oh suuuure, sure" *nervous chuckle*

Now, the same question is posed to an Obnoxious Person (hypothetically):

Person A- "Do these pants make my ass look fat?!"
Obnoxious Person- "Let me put it this way- it must suck to have an ass the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey's. I have to ask, do guys ever ask for a ride home? & by that I mean, not in your car. We should probably head to a salad bar instead of pizza now, dont you think?
Person A- "MOMMYYYYYYYY!"

Get what I mean?

Oh sure, you might say obnoxious people suck, because they hurt people's feelings, they're unnecessarily mean, etc.

No. Nuh uh. Quite the opposite.

You see, it's the normal, 'NICE' people who are at fault here, & it is THEM who should be getting yelled at. See, they're LYING to you! It's like they WANT to make you feel good about yourself when there is obviously room for improvement- & they probably even laugh at you behind your back for being so naive! You see what im sezzin'?

Whereas obnoxious people tell the truth all the time! How can you even SAY that obnoxious people are terrible? HOW?! *puppy eyes*

I digress. :)