Monday, February 16, 2009

All I Wanna Do Is [BANGBANGBANGBANG] & [$$$$] & Take Your Money..

Just so you know, I am suffering from an insane bout of insomnia, and cannot be held responsible for any nonsense that may offend you.

Right. Excuses made. Now to the good stuff!

Okay, I shall rant about Valentines Day. Bit late, but who cares. It was such a sucky day for me, and deserves to be bitched about.

However,I know that all of you may disagree with me when I say that Valentines Day was only created to:

A) Celebrate your love for all those near and dear to you
B) buy them thoughtful little presents to fully highlight the fact
C) Appreciate the love that you are surrounded with.


PAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope you really didn't think that I was saying that shit. I'd rather shoot myself instead.

Hell- to be honest, I think V-Day is grossly overrated. All it does is:

A) make Hallmark & such companies richer than they already are. And it's not like the card-artists who actually MAKE the cards are the people who benefit. They get only a teeny-tiny fraction of the total income collectively.
Man, I almost forgot the damn chocolate companies! JESUS H. CHRIST! Those people might as well make chocolate with money in it, since they're so over-loaded with the stuff! (Lamest thing I could say. But I've suddenly run out of steam.)

B) Okay, fine- the people with significant others might have a great time & all, but what about us poor losers who're all alone with absolutely no chance of scoring a date? I am actually surprised that the suicide rate doesn't rise that much on V-Day, because hell- I felt like killing myself (metaphorically. Because that's just too emo.). The loneliness, well, sucks.

C) You can barely go out anywhere!!!! The air is too thick with all the luuuurve.
*gags audibly* & all the restaurants are packed with lovey-dovey couples & all you want to do is throw a cream pie at their faces (What is it about cream pies that make you want to throw them at someone? They must not taste very nice, I guess.).

But then again, there is the odd scene where the girl(/guy?) gets all tearful/angry/hysterical & throws her drink at her(/his) date (no jokes! I've actually seen this happen in real life. & here I thought cliches were for the movies. -__- )

I could go on & on. But now I fear that all of you who actually like V-Day might hunt me down & try to kill me (To which I say: Join the queue, bud.), so I shall shut up now.

Keep the peace!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dancing Pigeons & Theories

Haha, the funniest thing just happened!

Well, you know me nahh. I tend to go a little psychotic sometimes (Sometimes? Hmm. Try often.), & I do wierd & random stuff.

So, today, I was dancing to 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga (It gets me hyperactive, at least for now.) & all of a sudden there's this tap on my window, & I'm like 'MOTHERF... THE MI5 ARE HERE TO PERMANENTLY SILENCE ME!" & then I started praying, & asking for forgiveness for that one time I stole a ginormous jar of cookies & ate them in one go.

..Aaaand it turns out to be a pigeon.

But that wasnt the wierd bit! The pigeon started BOBBING IT'S FREAKING HEAD IN TIME WITH THE BEAT!

Man, normally I hate pigeons- But this pigeon is TEH SEX! WHO CAN DANCE!

Well, okay, it cant dance. But it BOBBED IT'S HEAD! That has to be the smartest pigeon I have ever met.
Well, I cant say 'met', can I? It's not like I suddenly went upto it & shook its claw & said 'Hi, Pigeon. You've got fab moves!' or something.

But that made me think. Do animals dance? I mean, do they even recognise music?
& I'm not talking about the Disney animals who not only dance, but sing & rule in absolute monarchy over 'all that the sun touches' (See: Lion King. I love it. xD )
But, I mean real animals.

Huh. I have some major testing to do on my dog (If that lazy fat-ass actually gets up & doesnt flop back down in 5 seconds.).
But then, animal testing is wrong. Elle Woods enlightened us all of that fact.

Guess it will remain an interesting if slightly ignored mystery for ever more.

Unless someone take in interest in all I have to say, & finds the solution. But like most geniuses, I'll be dead by then- so I wouldnt know.