Sunday, August 9, 2009

Watching from a distance will never get you far.

He watched her, from across the turf. She was with her friends by the swings, laughing and doing doing god-knows-what. He didn't really care what she was doing, so long as she didn't move out of his line of vision.
She sat on the swing, talking to her friends. Then she started swinging, going higher and higher until she was just a blur... just a blur...
From the highest point she could manage, she jumped off- sailed through the air with her hair like a halo, and landed gracefully on her feet, with her arms outstretched like a human eagle.
He smiled wryly to himself- he had always imagined her as an angel, as beautiful on the ground as she was in flight. He saw that he was right.
He knew he could just go up and say hello anytime. But why would he do that? There was the very real possibility she would hint that he should go away, if not say point blank. Or maybe she would say hello back, but forget his existence the very next minute. Stay silent and spare himself the pain.
The cowards way out.
Still, it was enough for the moment. He would see her again the next day, anyway.

*

She glanced back at the guy she had noticed earlier. He seemed to be watching her, but making no move to mark his presence. She found that a little unsettling, and wished we wouldn't. She saw no reason for him to be staring at her. And he did look a little familiar.
Her friends continued talking, and she willingly let herself drift into their conversation. Weird, silent boys staring at me is a stupid thing to think about.
Yet, he continued. She tried to make eye contact a few times, but gave up. He was as responsive as a particularly uncommunicative wall. She glanced at the first reflective surface she could, to see if there was something in particular he was staring at. None.
Was he trying to tell her something?
And if so, should she listen? Or not talk to strangers, and all that jazz.
Screw it. If he has a problem, then say it. I'll make him.

She held up a her hand at her friends, and told them to give her a minute. Ignoring their curious looks, she walked over to where he was standing, trying not to mind that he was still staring at her with the same, almost insulting blankness.
"Hello" she said, amiably. Lets see what he makes of that.
He gave a tight smile, but offered nothing back.
She gave him an odd look "Have we met before?"
"No" he said, and that was all. He looked like he was either struggling for words, or just struggling to get out of the conversation.
She assumed it was the latter, feeling a little stung.
"Oh. Well, see you later then" she said, somewhat lamely, and turned her back and walked away.
She did not look back.

*

He dipped his head, in embarrassment and disappointment. He did not envision introducing himself in that way. He did not even offer her his name. Disgraceful.
Oh well, better luck next time. There's always tomorrow, I'll talk to her tomorrow. Or Monday. He made excuses to himself, putting his feelings off in fear of rejection.

*

"We're WHAT?!" he yelled at his parents, not believing his ears.
His father shook his head sadly. "We talked about this before, you know. I did tell you that we may be moving by the end of the month, and so we are. I know this is awfully sudden, but you do have today and an entire weekend to say your goodbyes. I thought you were unhappy here anyway? I'm sorry, but business calls elsewhere I'm afraid."
But he wasn't really listening. A cold dread spread in his body, numbing his mind, and making him oblivious to anything but his own thoughts.
So there wont be a tomorrow. There was a today, but he'd put that off. There were countless tomorrows in the past, but he'd let them pass. He'd wasted them.
And now, all he wished for was one last tomorrow.
The day that would never come.

*

She met her friends in the park, as usual. Her favourite spot- the swings- were free and by habit she gravitated towards it. At the back of her mind, she wondered where the boy was. The silent one. She had remembered him: he was here at the park all the time.
Except today. This unsettled her more than his staring. He was always here; what happened?
An hour went by, and still no sign of him. She sighed. She'd probably scared him away yesterday. That was too bad; he looked like he'd wanted to say something to her, even if he didnt actually say anything.
Oh well. Guess she would never know. And she didnt linger on it. She didnt give it anymore thought, and soon enough the memory of the odd boy washed away.

*

but not in his. Regret lived on. And he finally admitted to himself that tomorrow was even more fickle that human nature.

5 comments:

Janith said...

for a while there I was thinking "hmmm, Severus Snape?" :D but yes, I've done the watching from a distance (not in the literal stalker-ish sense, but you know...) and it never really gets you far... :(

She Who Eats Cookies said...

Haha I didn't even think of Snape! But it really does sound like him :|
& yes, I've done it too. It's pathetic, isn't it? When you can't pluck up the courage to get an answer? :(

Gadgetgirl said...

Park!!!! -Siiigghhh-

Loved it!

Btw, I love your new layout! Nice facelift, girl! =)

She Who Eats Cookies said...

Thanks GG! :D
Yeah it was about time for a change. Glad you like it! :)

Unknown said...

What the mind fcuk this is exactly like the stuff i write