Sunday, January 31, 2010

Giving you more scope to pwn my soul.

Thanks for the title, Anj. \m/

Wow, I've been ignoring the blog for way too long. =/ shame on me.

Believe me, it was mostly unintentional. I have been submerged in a shitpile of work which, for the love of all that is chocolatey, I cannot even begin to comprehend. Everything just becomes harder, and the pile keeps on growing steadily and quickly with no end in sight, no chance of reprieve or redemption or-

Meh, I'm sick of that metaphor already.

Yeah, I hope you understand my situation. Exams are just a couple of months away, teachers and parents are bretahing down on my neck like vampires (not the shineh homo ones, the actual blood-sucking, mean, historically-accurate ones).

Not to mention the SCHOOL OF DOUCHEBAGGERY that I have been forced to attend, making things THAT much harder by cutting classes to make way for gayshit like Project Week and Sports Day and the almighty stupid Christmas concert and stuff. Plus they dont give us enough time to prepare for ANYTHING, they haven't even bothered to complete our syllabus even though our exams are in less than a few months, then they bitch that it's our fault-

And you wonder why I'm such a complaint box.

Then there's the non-academic bullshite too. Full of bollocks like my laptop breaking, being pressurized to be a certain hundred ways, dealing with not being able to fit in anywhere in this vicious country (hyperbole alert- the place isn't that bad rly. Until you try to make friends.).
Then there's the 'best friends' coming and going, bitches, backstabbers, ditchers, hurtful gossip, oodles of drama, discrimination, domination (wut.) and so on and so forth.

Oh and being dumped and taken for granted and heartbreak and stuffz. Several times this year already.

What a RIDONCULOUS year. Turn it around and fuck it i the ass. wtm.

I'm also going to include issues like world famine, wars, cancer, mosquitoes, the utter fuckery that is Sri Lankan politics, Haiti and stuffz to this list too. Just to retain some semblance of unselfishness to my tangled life.


And recently, I sortof walked into a wall and acquired a GREAT BIG HONKING SCRAPE on my cheek that is steadfastly turning all the colours of the rainbow. I had to wear an equally GREAT BIG HONKING PLASTER on my cheek, which attracted a whole slew of pointing, staring, giggling (-.-) and a sizeable amount of faggotty questions.

(After the first few OMGWHATHAPPENED's, I changed my reply from 'Meh. Don't ask' to a rather complicated and fantastic story about dragons and castles in a mystical land far far away, accessible only thru an old smelly shoe, with piratez and knightz and majik and YAYNUZ.

"I tripped, you mofo. Stop staring at my face before I shove your head up your ass. thanksforyourconcern kthxbye")

And one person in particular (who i will refrain from naming, in case i get carried away writing odes to his assholishness) found my mortification DELIRIOUSLY FUNNY for some inane reason, and laughed at me whenever he remembered my existance.

and one FINE day he laughed UBER LOUD and named me, with malicious glee in his eyes, Scarface.
And did a jig.

While I was insulted at first, I realised that Scarface is actually one awesome badass motherfucker, and I have an uncanny resemblance to him personality-wise.

But mostly because now I can fulfill my true destiny of telling all the luzrs who get in my way to 'say hello to my lil' friend' and violently gunning them down, watching with vicious pride and satisfaction as their blood and brain matter make million-dollar works of art on the walls.

DIEMOTHERF-

Damn, break is over. Back to my life as the ultimate loser geek princess.

9 comments:

Anj said...

\m/.
That was long.
And heavy.
You're life is so sad.
Atleast you have me as a silver lining.

Domination? You're not the dominatrixy type right?

Wait. It's not meh that wants to know.

Sabby said...

As I read this wonderful piece of literature, written with grace and eloquence that could only be penned by someone with a demure and timid personality...there was one question that kept nagging me:

What in the world is a honking plaster?!?!

(dontkillmehscarface)

:D

Black Rose said...

What Sabby said, ALSO! Brilliant!!!! I can SO see you go banana, and let all the blood and gore fill a room. Hell you could put the Godfather(Classic) or Dexter (my newest fave) to shame. You go girl. and don't take no shit from no one you hear me?

<3

You are all kinds of wonderful, compact in the 15 year old you!

HUGSMOOCH. Enough noh?

:D

Kitty Issmile!

She Who Eats Cookies said...

@Anj yes, I have you, poopyfase. You and your horny pet creature. (Y)

@Sabby Thank you, lovie :D A honking plaster is, like, this rly big obnoxious plaster that ppl feel the need to gawk & giggle at :C
I KEEL THEM NAO. ily!

@Black Rose awwwww x) Thank yooooou! I wont let 'em get to me, i'll shoot 'em down with my big guns of... water? 0o :P
*HUGGIE*

Chavie said...

that was one awesome post! :D

plzdntkillme, but I think you should write more! ;)

She Who Eats Cookies said...

Chavieee :D I think I should write more too! But where's the time amidst all this trouble-mallung anei? i will try :)

Gadgetgirl said...

Uve got it girl.

*Respect*

Always keep that head up.

Foxhound said...

Ha Hah... the Scarface attitude is a winner. Tony Montana is a bad ass mother and you can't go wrong with that!

Angel said...

omg only just saw this... SO funny! :) Luv your 'li'l friend!!