[Too frazzled to think of a good title]

You know how it is when there's this certain day where you feel that nothing can go right?

Yeah. Imagine a whole year or more of that.

& I do mean that absolutely NOTHING is going right. It's been such a disasterous year already. A fresh new batch of problems to add to last years miserable, old ones.
Forget the whole optimistic crap. I'm back to whining, & if you don't like it & can't "put up with it", I suggest you go do whatever the hell you want to, & never return- instead of getting me to shut the hell up.

Because I won't.

You know why I won't? Because I'm a born whiner. Okay? I whine. It's the only thing I have going for me. Usually, I would whine to the peope I love, but since they can't take it, I whine to myself. Because that is all I know how to do. I don't have the freaking courage to actually solve the problem, but I do the next best thing. You don't need me to repeat the word again, yes?

& yes, it may not be a very admirable quality. & yeah, I can be very stubborn & annoying.

But that's who I am. I mean, it's not ALL of me- but it's part of the whole package. Unfortunately- or fortunately- nobody is perfect. & I am pretty damn far from it.

But I'm not going to change who I am just because a few people can't stand it. Okay, I'll try to cut down, but it'll never go away completely. & you can't expect me to do that. You can't expect me to change who I am just because you don't like it, & it pissed you off. There's the good AND the best. It's either both or bust. Take it or leave it.

Because if someone tells me to shut up one more time... It won't be very pretty. Trust me on that.

Do fresh starts exist...?

...No, but I'd like to think so.

Because that's what I'm doing now. Starting fresh. I got a completely differant hairstyle, & I like to think I'm a completely differant person from who I used used to be. A better one. Lets call the new me Sashi 2.0 .
See, I have this daydream. Sashi 2.0 is an ultra-cool ,uber-smart, supermodel-ish person, & she goes around acting as if she owns the world. & she does, practically. The people she doesn't like & who dont like her dont stand a chance HERE. She will KICK THEIR ASSES.
(Sometimes, I have a daydream about the real me kicking HER ass for being a too-perfect unicorn. But that's another story.)

Well, obviously my daydream is not going to come true. & I wont LET myself get all pompous like that. Buuuuut, she's a good role-model. I'm working towards that. Not that I'll achieve it, but hey. We all need something to push us on. For me, it's the idea of an upgraded version of myself (amongst other things.)

See? I'm moving on. I never thought I would, but I am

Note:

Well, as I've just been made aware of, a whole lot of stuff has been happening while I was gone. Involving this blog. Well, one post of it anyway.

Just so all of you know, I was only kind of exaggerating. Okay, I was really exaggerating. She's not at all a skank. In fact, she's one of the nicest people I know. & that stuff about, like, him. I was a bit mean. He's not so bad, i guess.
But hey, I was pissed off. For good reason.

But now, I guess it doesn't matter. The damage is done & all. But I'm not too upset. Because this whole experience has taught me who my real friends are. & I'm thankful for that, I guess. All that I have & those I rely on, I'm thankful for.

& I think that's how it should be.