[Too frazzled to think of a good title]

You know how it is when there's this certain day where you feel that nothing can go right?

Yeah. Imagine a whole year or more of that.

& I do mean that absolutely NOTHING is going right. It's been such a disasterous year already. A fresh new batch of problems to add to last years miserable, old ones.
Forget the whole optimistic crap. I'm back to whining, & if you don't like it & can't "put up with it", I suggest you go do whatever the hell you want to, & never return- instead of getting me to shut the hell up.

Because I won't.

You know why I won't? Because I'm a born whiner. Okay? I whine. It's the only thing I have going for me. Usually, I would whine to the peope I love, but since they can't take it, I whine to myself. Because that is all I know how to do. I don't have the freaking courage to actually solve the problem, but I do the next best thing. You don't need me to repeat the word again, yes?

& yes, it may not be a very admirable quality. & yeah, I can be very stubborn & annoying.

But that's who I am. I mean, it's not ALL of me- but it's part of the whole package. Unfortunately- or fortunately- nobody is perfect. & I am pretty damn far from it.

But I'm not going to change who I am just because a few people can't stand it. Okay, I'll try to cut down, but it'll never go away completely. & you can't expect me to do that. You can't expect me to change who I am just because you don't like it, & it pissed you off. There's the good AND the best. It's either both or bust. Take it or leave it.

Because if someone tells me to shut up one more time... It won't be very pretty. Trust me on that.

Do fresh starts exist...?

...No, but I'd like to think so.

Because that's what I'm doing now. Starting fresh. I got a completely differant hairstyle, & I like to think I'm a completely differant person from who I used used to be. A better one. Lets call the new me Sashi 2.0 .
See, I have this daydream. Sashi 2.0 is an ultra-cool ,uber-smart, supermodel-ish person, & she goes around acting as if she owns the world. & she does, practically. The people she doesn't like & who dont like her dont stand a chance HERE. She will KICK THEIR ASSES.
(Sometimes, I have a daydream about the real me kicking HER ass for being a too-perfect unicorn. But that's another story.)

Well, obviously my daydream is not going to come true. & I wont LET myself get all pompous like that. Buuuuut, she's a good role-model. I'm working towards that. Not that I'll achieve it, but hey. We all need something to push us on. For me, it's the idea of an upgraded version of myself (amongst other things.)

See? I'm moving on. I never thought I would, but I am

Note:

Well, as I've just been made aware of, a whole lot of stuff has been happening while I was gone. Involving this blog. Well, one post of it anyway.

Just so all of you know, I was only kind of exaggerating. Okay, I was really exaggerating. She's not at all a skank. In fact, she's one of the nicest people I know. & that stuff about, like, him. I was a bit mean. He's not so bad, i guess.
But hey, I was pissed off. For good reason.

But now, I guess it doesn't matter. The damage is done & all. But I'm not too upset. Because this whole experience has taught me who my real friends are. & I'm thankful for that, I guess. All that I have & those I rely on, I'm thankful for.

& I think that's how it should be.

Hellooooo...

Well, I'm back. & happier than ever.

I know I've been annoyingly depressing so far. It's all apparently a 'tragi-comedy' according to my buddy Aisu. I agree. O_o

So my New Year's resolution (wayyy too early, I know. But sooner the better.) is to be more optimistic. It's gonna be pretttty hard, but I'm getting there. Starting RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, just logged on to say MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I know most of you are probably atheists/pessimists/downright scrooges but still. It's not the rituals that counts. It's the love. I'm a little low on that now, but I'm working on that.

Keep the peace, people.

Like hahahahaha... What? Oh.

Well here I am. What left of me.
God that was emo. OKay, NO emo. I hate emos. Unless it's my one & only Sexy Emo.
But I'm straying off the topic.

Well- believe it or not- I started this blog with the honest intention of saying something worthwhile. But I think I forgot.
This wouldn't be the first time.

Oh yes. I am unintentionally suicidal.

No I'm not. WTF. I cant believe I said that. That is EMO. I do not LIKE emo.
But if this is so, WHY are emo thoughts running through my head? Okay so big deal: My ex left me in his dust as he moved on to bigger & better things in life. Whooo hooo. Big whoop. I'm happy for him, really. I mean, that proves that he's not as pathetic & 'immature' as I am.

But seriously: where the hell does that leave me? Am I the ONLY retard who didn't move on? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Seriously. Am I forever destined to sit in this rut six feet under & just look up at everyone moving on, wondering what it would feel like to be happy again? Are you freaking kidding me?! Does the big ruler-dude REALLY hate me as much as he/she seems to? What the HELL did I DO?!!?!

I dont even know why I'm posting all this here. It's not like anyone cares, right? Nobody's actually reading this, yeah? I'm just talking to a virtual wall here?

Oh, great. More questions. JUST what I needed.

OPPRESSIVE INSOMNIA

ROOFS OPEN WIDE AND YOU FLY UP INTO THE SKY! SINGING LIKE MANIAC WANTING TO SET FIRE TO THE AIR! HEY HEY HEY! LET ME BE WHAT I WANTED ME TO BE!
DONT TRY TO STAND IN MY WAY!!! DONT TRY TO TELL ME TO STAY!! REACHING UPTO THE STARS IS MY INCENTIVE- NOT YOURS!!! HEY HEY HEY! LET ME BE WHAT I WANT ME TO BE!
GETCHA SELF A CHAIN TO HANG IT ON YER MANE! TO GET YER FEET BACK ON FUCKIN' EARTH BEFORE I SHOOTCHYA DOWN! DOWN DOWN DOWN! DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT ME TO BE! HEY HEY HEY!!
NOT GONNA RUN, NOT GONNA HIDE! GONNA FIGHT IT UNTIL I DIE! YOU CANT STOP WHATS RAGING WITHING! HEY HEY HEY! I'LL BE WHAT I FUCKING WANNA BE!
LALALALALALA
GODDAMN BUKKITS LET'S KILL THAT FUCKIN' WET SON OF A UMBALAKADA! HE DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE NOR BREATH! EE--YAAA! GROW YASELF SOME BALLS AND STAND UP LIKE A MAN, PUSSY!
WHEN IT ALL COMES TEARING OUT, YOU'LL SEE! ALL WHAT I KNOW THAT I CAN BE! YOU'LL REALISE YOU'RE IN WAY OVER YOUR HEAD! & IN YOUR GODFORSAKEN GRAVE YOU'LL BE LAID! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ME IS THE GREATEST! ME IS TEH FUCKING SEX! & IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT, THEN GO FUCK A TREE YOU NOOB!
HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA
UP YOOOOOOURS!!!
SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT! TIL THE END OF THE UNIVERSE HERES US SCREAAM! LET THIS BE THE NIGHT TO CHANGE TO SEE TO HEAR TO DREAM! RAAAWRRR!
Ooooooh YES I CAN! & HELL YEAH, I WILL!
MESS WIV ME ONCE MORE- YOU'D BE ROADKILL.
STAND UP, DO IT LIKE IT YOU MEAN IT MOTHERFUCKER!"
READ & WEEP, BITCH!
NANANANANANANANA

25 Signs That Computers & The Internet Rule Your Life

Another random list that I found while browsing the Net. Needless to say: This list accurately describes me in some way or another. I admitted it- now it's your turn! =D

1. You can't remember the last time you wrote an entire paragraph using a pen & paper.
2. You consider the Internet a basic utility.
3. Between your Internet and your TV, you would rather lose your TV.
4. Between your Internet and your phone line, you would rather lose your phone line.
5. The Internet IS your phone line.
6. You carry a flash drive in your purse or pocket.
7. You carry a laptop you wherever you go-or you wish you could.
8. You have a callous on your right wrist, where you rest your hand when you use your mouse.
9. Your “diary” is not protected with a lock and key, but with a username and password - and it is open to be read by anybody in the world.
10. You've joined an online forum and regularly post messages on it.
11. You are - or have been - a member of a Yahoo group.
12. You've watched 1,500 orange-clad prisoners dancing “Thriller” on YouTube.
13. You know the meaning of the word “google” - and if you don't, you simply Google it.
14. When you hear the word “spam,” you don't think of food.
15. You've bought and sold things on eBay.
16. You've had an online love affair.
17. Half your friends only know you by your user-name.
18. The other half know your real name AND your user-name.
19. You've mastered computing the time in several different time zones because of all those online meetings you schedule with your Internet friends.
20. You no longer buy greeting cards; you get them free online and send them through email.
21. You no longer buy newspapers; your morning news is regularly sent to your inbox.
22. You no longer buy calendars; you use the one in your email reader or taskbar.
23. If your wall clock suddenly disappeared, you wouldn't miss it very much either.
24. You don't keep pictures of your kids in your wallet, but you set them as your wallpaper and screen saver.
25. You need a computer view your children's photos.