Thursday, May 13, 2010

Bloggers Block?

I've been getting quite a few requests to update the blog- and I probably should. Can't leave my brainchild sitting around unattended for too long- god knows what will happen. I don't even want to imagine.

Well, as to why I haven't updated in so long...
Whenever someone asked my why, I'd always attribute it to exams, the need to revise, the constant stress, pressure to study, etc. I mean, really, to a normal person this is quite an adequate reason right?

Right. But then I realized that none of that actually matters to me.

I used to be able to write chapters upon chapters of stories or book ideas that would suddenly come to me whenever I least expected it. Whatever I was doing, I'd drop it and scribble on the nearest blank surface. I don't know why that was- but it earned me nicknames like Flashpen and the like.

Or maybe I coined that myself. I choose not to remember the petty details.

But lately- I've noticed that my ability to write has somewhat diminished. No, scratch that, it's virtually gone completely. I mean- take this blog post as an example. I'm writing a post about not being able to write posts. Sad, no?

I miss being able to write! Not only do I really need to regain it in time for my upcoming English exam- *shudders at the very thought*- I want to write again. I want to be able to let my thoughts flow from my brain through my pen and be able to hold a hard copy of what I'm feeling or thinking. That's a special ability, I've been told. Not many people have it... or had it, in my case.

I don't know what made me lose it. Lack of practice? Well, that's partly true since all I've been writing lately are hideously boring essays about hideously boring subjects which I'd rather stick a fork in my eyeball than study about.

Lack of opportunity? Since I'm meant to be cutting down on procrastination, spending more time with my face in a book and not on Facebook, etc.
Balls to that, like I ever care? I used to stay up till the asscrack of dawn writing all sorts of things. The last time I did that was when somebody asked me to do their English coursework for them. I refuse to comment on that.

I think it's actually just a lack of inspiration. I mean- I don't have a single thing to be inspired about anymore. No interaction with anyone other than my parents- well sure, I'm online all the time and all but without much to do or say even there.
Come to think about it- I really don't have any reason to write.

That's catastrophic. Nay, to me, it's apocalyptic. I really need a life. And fast.